WASHINGTON, D.C.—In response to the sweeping bill H.R. 2024, The Truth in Public Discourse and Actions Act, the Department of Justice has partnered with the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service to launch a surprising crusade against what they deem one of the nation’s oldest rackets of misinformation and deception: fly fishing. “A society is either honest or it isn’t, and one that abandons its standards alongside a river or lake simply isn’t,” Attorney General Justin T. Anglewright said during the press conference announcing the ban. “Pretending to cast a fly that isn’t real is dishonest on so many levels, and it’s time we bring honesty back to all aspects of our society, including fishing in general and fly fishing in particular. It is time to reset our moral compass and use only techniques that employ one true cast.”
U.S. Fish and Wildlife director Ava Riverwood will head the Fly Fishing Truth and Integrity Task Force to train state and federal officers to identify dishonest fishing activities, including anglers extending their hands for exaggerated fish size in photos and driftboat rowers acting like they don’t know how close they are to other anglers.
“Deception and trickery are integral parts of every fly angler’s ancestry. I can’t imagine something more un-American than this ban,” said the President of Trout Immeasurable, a conservation organization representing the interest of conscientious fly anglers from every state.
In related news, fall field cricket futures have tripled on the Chicago Mercantile Exchange (CME), and the sporting supplier Cabela’s reports a consumer run on telescoping fishing poles and Eagle Claw Baitholder hooks.
