Tim Schulz

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Tim Schulz

Beneath the Surface

Fish agree to resume eating if anglers stop saying fishing is not about the catch

ENNIS, MT—In a move that Montana Fish, Wildlife, and Parks officials have called the most critical negotiation since the 1919 Treaty of Versailles, the American and Worldwide Fish Union (AWFU) has offered to end the seventeen-day hunger strike by Montana game fish on one condition: anglers must stop saying fishing Read more…

By Tim Schulz, 8 monthsSeptember 29, 2024 ago
Pulp Fiction

Pulp Fiction: Roxanne & The Wolf

SCENE 1: THE GARAGE — AFTERNOON 2 THE WOLF: “I understand you have a body in the garage. Take me to it.” Roxanne stands back as The Wolf examines the scene. He studies the body in silence, looking around, circling it. THE WOLF: “Roxanne?” ROXANNE: “Yes.” THE WOLF: “Do me Read more…

By Tim Schulz, 11 monthsJune 21, 2024 ago
Beneath the Surface

Fly Fishing Writer Claims Answer to the Ultimate Question

NEW YORK — Celebrated author Frank Anthony, known for drawing metaphorical connections between life and fly fishing, has made a bold claim in a manuscript he recently submitted to The Journal of Philosophy. Contrary to Douglas Adams’ The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy—where the answer to the ultimate question of Read more…

By Tim Schulz, 1 yearApril 17, 2024 ago
Beneath the Surface

Conservation giants locked in legal battle over new strain of duck-eating brown trout

MEMPHIS, TN — Ducks Unlimited, a nonprofit organization dedicated to conserving, restoring, and managing wetlands and associated habitats for North America’s waterfowl, has filed a class-action lawsuit on behalf of a dozen species of ducks native to the American Northwest. The legal action—believed to be the first of its kind—seeks Read more…

By Tim Schulz, 1 yearMarch 3, 2024 ago
Fish Tales

Dirt Don’t Hurt

I don’t need to change my strings‘Cause the dirt don’t hurt the way I sing—Sturgill Simpson, “Living the Dream” Just this morning, I finally faked my way into the Vatican, only for two high priests to shatter all my notions about the meaning of life by proclaiming there is no Read more…

By Tim Schulz, 1 yearMarch 2, 2024 ago
Beneath the Surface

Consistent with workforce trends, 23.3% of fly anglers now fish from home

WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to a recent Pew Research Center survey, 23.3% of fly anglers now fish from home—up from only 0.01% before the 2019 pandemic.  “Before the pandemic, few people believed it was possible to fish from home,” said Jeb Anderson, lead author of the report and associate director Read more…

By Tim Schulz, 1 yearFebruary 25, 2024 ago
Beneath the Surface

Widow sells husband’s fly rods for less than he said he paid for them

OAK PARK, IL — The joke is older than Ebay: “If anything happens to me, don’t let my wife sell my fly rods for what I told her I paid for them,” a fly angler tells his buddies over a few drinks around the campfire, implying he paid a lot Read more…

By Tim Schulz, 1 yearFebruary 6, 2024 ago
Beneath the Surface

Montana FWP survey: Every Madison River trout has been hooked by a Euro nymph

CAMERON, MT — A recent survey by Montana Fish, Wildlife & Parks (FWP) has anglers scratching their heads. “We’ve checked, double-checked, and triple-checked our data, and everything points to the same conclusion,” said Ron Castillo, FWP Director of Special Projects. “Every trout between Quake Lake and Ennis has been hooked Read more…

By Tim Schulz, 1 yearFebruary 1, 2024 ago
Beneath the Surface

Book review: Catching Schrödinger’s Trout

Catching Schrödinger’s Trout by Ian Surkowski. MIT Press. Ian Surkowski, the Pamala Leonard Professor of Physics and Philosophy at the California Institute of Technology, has written a book that will likely change how everyone—scientist and layperson alike—thinks about fishing for trout. Although Dr. Surkowski received the prestigious Fields Medal for Read more…

By Tim Schulz, 1 yearJanuary 30, 2024 ago
Beneath the Surface

Connecticut angler there yesterday should have been there today

STORRS, CT—A University of Connecticut Professor of Logic, Leann Jackson, is believed to be the first fly angler to fish the famed Delaware River yesterday when she should have been there today. An avid angler for much of her life, Ms. Jackson regularly makes the four-hour drive to upper New Read more…

By Tim Schulz, 1 yearJanuary 29, 2024 ago

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